Yeah I do. I’ve been at it for a while now; I just like to try staying fresh finding new things to do. I don’t mean to be talking like I’m some battered industry vet looking for a new medium or anything like, it just helps me to take a step back and still feel creative. “the Demo” has been such a grind. Each part from
inspiration, development, and execution took a ton from me to get to this point and there’s still a ways to go. I won’t complain too much though. That acknowledgment of how tough it can get is exactly why it’s important to be grateful just for the simple fact that it was able to happen.
The hard part is reminding yourself to keep that perspective so whenever I get a chance to step back and get on camera, I feel like I have the distance to see
"I thought you design?"
Being on the other side of things it’s hard to know how the shoot is going or what comes out well but that dynamic alone has been interesting enough to engage me. Normally I like to develop and execute a deliberate vision so the tables are totally turned on me when shot after shot goes by without me looking over it. It’s a vulnerable
things the way I’d like. And I am a Libra after all! Libra’s are associated with scales to symbolize balance, which seems to be in line with the way I’m seen. I can’t claim to know much about astrology but I know when I tell people I’m a Libra they usually go like ”ohhhh”. Who knows what role that distinction plays in my life, but I do see how helpful balancing things out in my life has been. I’ve been pursuing design for years now and lately, acting and modeling have been great, fun ways to balance and refresh myself.
After all that isolated time developing skills and then pounding away details in logistics it’s nice to just be for a change. I spend all this time replicating a persona for style that I don’t get to indulge in being a thing very much. It’s fun interacting with the scene and just feeling it out for a change.
I’ve found comfort knowing there’s a certain margin for error afforded to me to find the best one. I can get caught up trying to do everything perfect, taking all the right steps in the other projects I lead so it’s nice to allow myself to breathe and to know that if I try my best we’ll catch something good. Between this and walking around, getting to know the photographer I’m able to engage in the moment to really follow the guide to find
the shot. I’m in the dark most of the shoot until I have some shots shared with me that really excite me.That moment of illumination is the kind of thrill that keeps me feeling in the light despite only having the results shared for a moment. That light shines past the darkness of the shoot and into the depths of the hole I found myself in the design process. Sometimes you just need that little glimpse to know you’re doing something special that gets you through the rest of the unknowns we stumble between.
experience; I spend a lot of the shoot feeling left in the dark
wondering if I can do anything right. There’s the inevitable awkward captures in between looks and then I wonder if the looks we actually capture are translating as well as I think they are. It could be easy to give into some of that anxiety, but there are some relaxing, meditative rhythms to the process. As I’ve settled in, I realize it’s not realistic to expect for every shot to turn out.
